hello. this is my first entry. i've been having so much fun making this website; i don't think ive ever had a project to work on this consistentley that ive also been committed to. its great. (pls ignore the typos in this. ik it looks bad). At this point i still have the last page to finish. idk what to call it but its gonna be where I put cool information i find. after that theres still a bunch of other things i wanna add to the site but once i finish that page the foundation of the whole site is basically done. im writng this entry bc i was too excited to wait lol. idk if anyone if reading this. i think i wanna add some sort of chatbox so i can kinda interact with whoevers looking at this site. in real life, i'm currently drinking a matcha latte (1/2 homemade, the other half is one i got from the outside) and listening to a podcast. its kinda getting late and i need to wake up early tmrw bc i have to go to school for some sort of event (I CANT BELIEVE IM IN COLLEGEN NOW what the freak) its kind of scary but also cool. but i have to go tmrw and its prolly gonna be rly tiring and boring and it starts at 8 am (ew). I might have insomnia bc i when i try to go to bed i have to lay awake for like four hours before i actually sleep. its like my body is lagging. but then i sleep for a rly long time (so maybe its not insomnia but whatever it is its a pain in the butt). so not only am i sleeping late but im also waking up late which sucks bc ideally i'd be waking up like super duper early. i used to wkae up at around 3 am and (ik for some ppl that might sound extreme butttttttt) during that time i had the best mornings. nobody is a wake and i have can take all the time in the world to get done what i need to get done (shower, excerize, breakfast, etc.) and maybe even watch a movie. I MISS IT SO MUCH. But i can't bring myself to wake up early. so i think im gonna pull an all nighter soon to reset my sleep routine. whats lowkey crazy though is that my life has actually been going okay (not super good but also not super bad). like theres still big, BIG things that ive been stressed about but theres also stuff that are making me happy (its mainly small stuff but whatever). its like balanced. like a few months ago i (my EMOTIONS) was like up and down and up and down. like i don't have a job but i have this website or i lowkey don't know if my major/career is gonna lead me to financial stability but also i rly like the classes im taking this semester and lowkey excited to do rly good in them or my wardrobe sucks rn and i hate all my clothes and have no money to pay for new ones but i just perfected my at-home matcha latte so i don't have to pay for overpriced matchas now. anywayyyy theres always a bunch of other stuff i want/could talk about rn but im lowkey tired as balls soooooo thats it for now. BYE. (ˆ𐃷ˆ)
hello i just woke up. last night i wrote a review of tsitp. twas very negative and filled with hate which i kinda feel bad about but also i spoke my truth ୧(๑•̀ᗝ•́)૭ (i can't find an emoji for the emotion im trying to express just know its a mix of sad, disappointed but also determined????) ok anyway its the next morning at 6:41 am (i am still desperately trying to reset my sleep schedule. im feeling better rn but like 10 minutes ago i felt super tired and dizzy trying to walk around (so im laying in bed now). i was super excited yesterday cuz i got to decorate my new binder (its so cute and im excited for ppl to see it once school starts) and could write that review but now i have a bunch of stuff to do today. im thinking that if i talk about it here (rly complain about it) it'll put all the stuff i have to do in perspective and make it feel a little less overwhelming. after this im gonna go shower and then excersize (cuz thats important ig?). i kinda rly don't wanna do it bc its rly just me walking up and down the stairs for a super long time but also i was doing it a bunch for the past few weeks and my mood genuinley improved and I DIDNT GET PERIOD CRAMPS ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-. that rarely happens so i was so happy when it did. and im so tired of waking up in the middle of the night, going to the kitchen to eat so i could take my ibuprofen, and then feeling to nauseous to eat so it takes longer to actually take my medicine. point is i def need the excersize. after that im gonna wash the dishes cuz i promised my mom i would. i also have to schedule another driving lesson with the lady whose teaching me. ive been procrasinating this bc she said to schedule not too late cuz then she charges more. but im too embarrassed to call bc its been so long now and ive barely gotten any driving practice. dude driving (specifically my parents car) is so scary. idk why the brakes are so abrupt. i feel like everyone is mad at me and i keep getting distracted while on the road and its like rly scaring me. also sometimes i literally mean to push one pedal but push the other. or im too focused on one aspect of driving that i froget to pay attention to another (IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN) i think im stupid bc i dont think its supposed to be this hard. for a period of time last year i was terrified of getting into cars and whenever i would get into one i would keep thinking about getting into a crash and dying D:. i dont get scared like that anymore but i think driving is bringing it back. ANYWAY i also have to cut my bangs and i kinda wanna fix up my brows (might not do this one if i cant find the thing i fix my brows with (its like a weird pen thing)) schools coming up and I NEED to get an id so i can also get a bus pass and get FREE BUS RIDES (LETS GOOO) also the id is good for student discounts. anyway ive had rly bad luck with id phtos. ive only had one good id photo and that was my sophomore pic. idk what was happening that day but i looked ok. EVERY OTHER ID? EWWWWW. the freshman one? like do not bring that up. i got it on some random day bc my og photo got lost in the system or something and i was wearing the ugliest outfit and my hair sucked and the lady taking it could tell it sucked bc she was like do u wanna take it again later and i said no bc i felt bad about making anyone take my photo. i dont wanna think about it. my senior one also sucked for some reason?? i thought it was gonna look good and then it came out and i was like brah. WHY DO I LOOK LIKE THAT. so for this year im gonna give myself some time to prepare and today i prep my hair. ik this sounds super shallow but i dont give a freak i cant look like poop when trying to get a student discount on some boba. (omg i just remembered how ugly i look in my passport photo (•_•) WHYYYYY ( TДT)) WHATEVER. i forgot what else i have to do today. OHHHHH i need to clean out my phone cuz its glitching out like crazy. all the apps are disappearing or like they're still there but they're not showing which huh? its my photos cuz i have so many for school. i got this free flash drive from one of the welcome events so im gonna move all my photos that i wanna keep thta aren't school related (memories and memes) in the flash drive and then delete them off my phone so that for ONCE im not at max storage. also it means i can decorate my phone (i dont think ill get to that today but we'll see) i should also probably look for jobs. theres one job that i think i should apply for cuz its on campus but like i dont think im qualified and it actually looks super professional cuz it involves going to a bunch of other schools nad helping students there go to college. i think that involves a bunch of public speaking which is just so not cool. but also i need money and this is prolly more impressive than cashier (and you get to help ppl so ig tahts good too??). honestly their prolly not even gonna accept me. ok i dont wanna talk about that anymore cuz its stressing me out. but today i also wanna watch stuff. i started uptown girls yesterday and i also want to watch all the Jurassic park movies (not necessarily in one day) cuz ive never seen them and so i can watch the new one that just came out. there is also this other video on youtube i wanna see (its this one: https://youtu.be/bFWcT3Gbrw4?si=8skPd6NGZzPSIURL) ok. i cant think of fanything else i have to do. maybe reading? cuz i said id read 10 books this summer and ive only read 7 (how are people reading so many?) also i should probably check my email cuz that just what your supposed to do when you have one. I WILL AHVE A GOOD DAY TODAY AND GET ALL (or at least most) OF MY STUFF DONE. i wonder what i should havae for breakfast? i made a matcha yesterday and put chia seeds in it and it was good. i liked how the chia seeds are kinda like tiny, crispy bobab but healthy. anyway, bye. also good morning (should've said that at the beginning) ok bye. :D
9:37 pm: hello. tonight i will be pulling an all nighter. if you've read my last past entries i think you'll know that my sleep schedule has been horrendous lately. school is coming and i need to be able to wake up early (preferably around 5 am or even earlier). so ive decided to do this in order to reset my sleep schedule. from this point on i will be updating this entry on how the night goes untillll idk when but i will be awake from now until hopefully tmrw night so that by the next day i will wake up at 5am. does that make sense? so like rn its 8/22 but i will be awake until the night of 8/23 and then ill go to bed then and wake up the morning of 8/24. and just know that school starts at 8/25. i rly hope this works. idk what i'll be doing tonight and throughout most of tmrw. I've just finished a whole bowl of chipotle. twas delicious but i feel like puking rn. but while i was devouring my meal i watched Jurassic park. i liked it. i might review it on the media page of this website or maybe not. now i am watching youtube. but after writing this i will go downstairs and throw out my chipotle bowl. ik i said it was delicious but they didn't put that much salt on the chips which lowkey sucks :(. but after that idk what i'll do. im thinking of getting a sweet treat. i was considering ice cream but that just seems like a lot. maybe a matcha latte instead or some cookies. i think i'll just drink water tho. i also kinda want to hop on the treadmill cuz i barely moved today at all (so much doomscrolling). im also going to brush my teeth and wash my face (i feel like i might be breaking out). but aside from walking and washing up idk what else im going to do tonight. bc school is starting i wanted to prepare by studying, specifically bio and stats bc im taking those classes soon and im not rly confident in my ability to do good in them. i was like consistentlye studying for them using khan academy but then i took a huge break cuz i took some summer classes and i was like thats boring id rather be coding this websiste or studying Korean (i lowkey gave up on Korean too tho) but i started studying bio again and subsequently chemistry today. i started using crash course bio but its lowkey confusing me so i had to search for a bunch of other stuff on google to understand those lessons hence chemistry. its been kinda fun. for the first time ik what an atom is. i took chemistry before and i did good but i didn't understand what was happening in that class. i basically was doing just in enough work to get an A but wasn't actually comprehending anything. so i like that im starting to understand. did you know the og word for atom means uncuttable/indivisible? i dont get it since subatomic particles exists. i also don't understand subatomic particles cuz what the fuck is electricity? thats what im studying rn. i say studying but i mean thats the last thing i was searching on google before writing this. this is whats so annoying about learning. theres just too much to learn. like ill try to learn one thing but then i end up having to look at a bunch of other information to understand the initial information i was trying to learn. like its cool that i now understand what atoms and subatomic particles and electricity is (im still working on that one) but like bro i was trying to study biology. also school starts in like 2 to 3 days so i just dont have the time. the class i signed up for was a biological anthropology class which ik is going to be fun but its making me nervous bc like thats not just even biology thats biology + anthropology. so once it starts i feel like im gonna be extra clueless. that reminds me i recently watched clueless and also read emma this summer. that doesn't matter. point is i might also study biology and even statistics tonight. maybe not stats tho since its not as fun. other stuff i might want to do during my all nighter is watch more Jurassic park movies or read hunger games. both r important to me rn bc ive been wanting to watch the new Jurassic park movie and also read hunger games bc im curious as to why everyone is so obsessed with it (in other words fomo). i also want to right more in my commonplace book. its a rly cute moleskin that was gifted to me but ive barely been writing in it. so while im studying bio i'll prolly write more in it or i'll write about other stuff idk. maybe i'll draw. anywayyyyy i'm already getting sleepy so im gonna go do some of the stuff i jsut said i would and i'll try to update this throughout the night. OPERATION ALL-NIGHTER IS ON!
1:00 am: i didn't realize how much time has passed. but i didn't do much. i did clean up after my chipotle and walked on the treadmill. but that was like it. in between i doomscrolled even more. it did not make me feel good. tonight is not going well. im so sweaty for some reason. like ik we're going through a heatwave but i should not be this sweaty. i think my period is coming which isn't good because i haven't had time to prepare and school is also coming so that is not a good combo. also so many bugs. why am i finding so many bugs. i saw a spider today and i bunch of ants (which makes sense that they are coming into the house since its hot now) but i even saw (what i think were) 2 baby coacroaches (how do u spell this word) in the bathroom rn while i was oging to go brush my teeth and wash my face. what the freak. i saw them and killed one of them but the other one got away and ran UNDERNEATH THE TOILET (freak u bro) and i had to pee. so i had to pee knowing it was probably under me or crawling up to me as i am sitting above it BUTTNAKED. so i go to my parents bathroom and why is there a silverfish next to the toilet. i tried smacking that one but i couldn't reach. also y do those things exist? aren't they only supposed to be in Minecraft? anyway i ended up going back to pee in the other bathroom and then i started washing my face. I DIDN'T REALIZE I HAD SO MANY PIMPLES. i just got two big ones on my cheek. they aren't obvious. they're still skin colored but they are there and its annoying me. but i have already brushed my teeth, washed my face, and put pimple cream on them so i feel better now that-- nevermind a mosquito/fly thing is flying past my face right now WHAT THE FFFFFF. it scared me so bad and i think it is a mosquito bc i swear it been giving me bites. tonight is not going well. in the words of kafka, f this stupid baka life (did he actually say that? also who is that i dont actually know who this man is maybe i'll google it).
8:46 am: i fell asleep :/. AHHHHHHHH dude i fell asleep watching youtube videos and then i woke up at 5:41 and then i fell asleep AGAIN. this sucks. whatever man. we'll just have to see if im able to wake up for school this week. anyway imma shower and then today i'll prolly do my laundry and clean my room and bathroom CUZ OF ALL THESE STUPID BUGS.
amazing, amazing things happening. i just finished the first week of college (technically not cuz i took summer classes but like this to me is the real start to school since its fall sem) ITS BEEN AWESOME (kinda) All my classes are pretty cool. im taking an anthropology, English, stats, and linguistics class. I would say the anthropology and linguistics class are the most interesting and its been beneficial to take them at the same time since some of the material overlaps, but my englihs and stats class r also cool. English can be like a rly annoying/difficult subject for me so i luv how cool the teacher is and based on the syllabus the stuff we're gonna be reading is gonna be good. lowkey the teacher kinda crazy. he laughs like the madhatter but hes pretty funny and also is rly nice. stats on the other handdd pretty boring but its doable for me so i don't have any negative opinions about it either. i just wanna make sure im keeping up with all my work bc i think the only reason im enjoying school so far is bc the work hasn't been piling up just yet. we have Monday off (ALREADY??) cuz of labor day. and my anthropology class was canceled so likeee i have so much free time next week so its the prime time to get ahead. AND I AM SO DETERMINED. i mean the past week was kindaaa hectic but thats bc of stuff outside of class. while i love learning stuff within class im trying to find extracurriculars to do and i have other stuff to deal with like making sure i have all the right classes to graduate/transfer and also the BUS. okay first there are like extracurriculars/shit i do outside of school. i want to do more stuff so it looks better when i transfer but also to have a more fulfilling life. idk how to juggle it all lol (not lol im lowkey dying inside when i think about this). i need a job. its just time i start making my own money. actually i think an internship might be better. but theres like nothing related to my major (bruh :/) i did just apply for a retail store job and im praying they get back to me. or maybe i'll apply to a job on campus. AHH IDK. theres also just a bunch of other hobbies/projects i want to get into. i haven't done anything big since making this website and i als want to try to maintain/not neglect it. i want to learn Korean, i kinda want to get into making video games, i want to read more, i want to start drawing again (and maybe/hopefully hat will lead to me making and selling stickers or MAKING COMICS CUZ THAT WOUDL BE OS COOL) THERES TOO MUCH STUFF TO THINK ABOUTT. omg i also wanna right a research paper but idek where to start with that cuz i can't even ome up with a topic also i cant even read other ppl's paeprs. also idk when i should meet with my counselor. the counselors here r all like set up appointments with us regularly but idek what id say during them. im trying to think of questions and things to say but so far ive only come up with like two.but on a lighter note I GOT MY BUS PASS TO WORK. the school is giving us free bus passes with unlimited rides and i think i can even use it in the city which is like super far from school. it took me a few days to get it to work but before writing this i finally got it to work whic is cool (actually i haven't tested it yet so we'll see) but that reminds me i still need my liscence. bc sometimes the bus is STINKYYY. last time it was actually unbearable. so im probably gonna practice driving tmrw. idk what im gonna do after this. ik this was a bad entry. super unstructured and more rambly then my other ones so sorryyy. but i just wanted to update the site and say that things r going well (for the most part). OKAY BYEEEEEE.
